Monday, February 4, 2013

Stop! The love you Save may be your own

Two weeks ago while perusing on Twitter (while I was suppose to be working) *coughs*  an interesting tweet showed up on my Timeline. It was a punk bitch  man claiming that none of his girlfriends could make more than him, or be more successful than him. The slander that showed up in his mentions was classic, and many men decided to take there stab at him and call him out on his shit. "You cant be serious" said some, and "N*gga, what do YOU do" said others. I wanted to add my two cents in to the mix, but it got me thinking. Many of these guys (and girls) showed utter outrage that somebody could be so set back in their thinking, that they would feel emasculated if their female counterpart was more successful than them. In reality, people think like that ALL the time.  There are plenty of guys that can't stand for a woman to be more successful than him. You know how many times my single girlfriends have said that guys were intimidated by their degrees and good jobs?
The last guy I was seeing did not understand that I write. (I love writing for the Examiner and it's damn good money). I draw a lot of writing pieces from personal experiences, and he just happened to be the muse to most of my best work... (shouldn't have been fuckin up). Although I never used names (to protect the innocent.. mainly myself) It still made him very uncomfortable that I would engage in lengthy dialogues about some fuck shit he did. He would call me out and say that it was subtweeting, or subwriting, and rarely read any of my work. I would like the record to show that I could understand how jilting it must be to experience something, then read it, and read other people's commentary. Honestly, I got tired of defending myself and my decision to express myself the way I wanted to, while making a little money on the side.
I explained all this to one of my best male friends Trent (whom you all have had the pleasure of reading in one of my older blog's "The Waiting Game"). He said, 
 "He doesn't respect your hustle. You need someone that understands you and what you do"

He was absolutely right. I thought on this for awhile as I contemplated how I was going to handle our situation. Later on that day while talking to my roommate, she randomly stated
" You can only really have one... Love or a career. And they way things are going for me, I might just choose love"
 I was floored. Here was my roommate, one of the brightest in our class, beautiful, smart, and incredible talented, saying that if she had a man that wanted her to choose between him and her career that she would choose him. It brought me back to that fool from Twitter saying that he wouldn't date anybody more successful than him.
Has it really come to that? Do we have to choose between the two? Where are they guys that would prefer that you had your life together? I have no idea because clearly I'm still single as hell. But if I do have to choose between the love of my life, and the LOVE that I have for my life, what would I choose?


  1. If he's the love of your life he won't make you chose between the two. That's my opinion. The love of my life would understand that writing is a part of me and thus, for him to tell me to give up my writing would be for him to tell me to give up myself. Which would make no sense, because then who would he really be in love with?

    I think balance can be found. Not necessarily easily, but it's there.

  2. relationships (romantic and platonic) should be between people that hold you up, not people that hold you back...and it' pretty clear that this guy has never dated a writer.