"Pull my hair, Spank me, and call me a bitch because I'm SO sorry"!- Vic
My sister, (who's just as fabulous in her own right) recently accompanied me on 1 of my shopping excursions.. She needed to vent because she had "the worst day of school in her life" Her best friend was pissing her off and throwing her under the bus for a guy. Don't act surprised. This happens all the time. As I picked up a pair studded aviator glasses, I tried to think of the best advice I could give to her about friendship. Unfortunately, I wasn't exactly batting 1000 in this field, so I felt pretty stupid about suggesting what she should do. I did explain to her, that her friend, was not a friend at all, but was in fact a frenemy. What's a frenemy? Well here's the definition:
Frenemy (alternately spelled "frienemy") is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" which can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival
Still don't understand? Check out this HILARIOUS video from the web series Frenemies..
(sorry the vid is so big)
So there you have it. A frenemy is a lot worse than an enemy because all good intentions are out the window. They would rather aid and watch you fall or fail with a big smile on their face then to see you succeed. They run and talk about you behind your back, but smile in your face. They are jealous of everything you do, or speak of. They are unsupportive, and they are sneaky.The most unfabulous thing about a frenemy, is that you usually don't realize that's what they are, until they know all your business and it's written in permanent marker on a bathroom wall.. Frenemies also have a hard time taking responsibility for the demise of a good friendship. If their jealous, they call it hating. It's just TOO much for adults to go through which is why the Frenemy phase that most girls go through ends either in or after college age. After explaining all this to her, she of course was still irritated. I let her know that as annoying as it is, it will pass depending on how she handles the toxic frenemy. Now, most of the people I called friends have gone. And I cant say that I'm a perfect friend because nobody is. But I am a DAMN good friend. I'm very easy to get a long with and for the most part, i'm very lax about a lot of things. Normally when a friend has a problem with me, it's them. And if we stop talking, my absence is felt. When people think you have a certain weakness, they will use it to your advantage. (How wack!) Frenemies have the best camouflage, but there are ways of spotting said "friend"
A Frenemy will....
* Listen to your every word then repeat it (often times incorrectly) to anyone who will listen.
* Try to compete with you in EVERYTHING you do
* Talk about you subliminally and try to hide their hands at the end
* Sabotage, ruin, and try to take you over
A REAL Friend..
* Supports however she can. No matter what she has to do. Her last dollar, is now your dollar. Even though she may be having a horrible day, she still takes time out to listen to you. She's at every game or event if you're into sports, or at every concert if you play music.
* NEVER and I repeat, NEVER subliminally talks about you. She may talk about others less important. But never airs her feelings about you, or your business subliminally, whether it's via Facebook Status, or tweet. And if she DOES have a problem, she comes to you and tells you so that you two may go forward and move on
* Flips out on those she thinks are your frenemies and has no qualms about hurting their feelings
* Doesn't compete or even think of her friend as competition. Real friends view themselves as equals and all those other bitches out their are your competition. Together
I mean really, friendships are not suppose to be difficult. Anytime a friendship seems exhausting, it may be time for some re-evaluations. I don't have all the answers, and I don't do everything right. But I'm confident that little sis will make the right decisions when it comes to who she chooses to share her fabness with.
My Confessions *I confess that I still REALLY like him *I confess that my side eye has been REAL strong lately *I confess that I Cannot WAIT to go to Miami
Stay away from those frenemies kids. Because the saying is "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" NOT the other way around
(My Desk at work.. Pink bag, Aviator shades, and a Charm bracelet, No work though lol) (Henna!!)
(It's true.. I like Nerds)
(Boredom at it's finest)
(Who Doesnt LOVE an obnoxious church hat? *smiles*)
(Aren't these fab?)
Greets and Salutations
Ok... I know it's been.. Forever! And honestly, there are no excuses.. No writers block.. no nothing.. Well I HAVE been working harder then the Heels on Oprah's Louboutin's.. (I gotta support my shopping habit) But still, no excuses. What I CAN say, is that I'm here, and I have much to say! :o)
So how have all you been? Me? Well... Lemme tell you..
My social life had seriously taken a beating over the last several weeks.. I was tested, and pushed in ways that I didnt even see coming.. I lost a few people along the way, and gained even more. And along with the additions and subtractions in my life came lessons that I didnt fully apreciate until I sat down and started typing this blog. For one, I learned I need to be more cautious about who I call my "friend" (and I WILL be exploring the meaning and actions of friendships at a later time). I'm an excellent friend I like to think. I try to treat people that I consider my friends, the same way that I want to be treated.. But some people get a little blind sided and side tracked.. If their worth it, help them back on the straight and narrow friendship yellow brick road. If not.. well... let them stumble around the forest on their own. *Kanye Shrug*
As Far as "relationships" with the opposite sex.. They havent changed. And. I'm not sure if thats a good or bad thing.. *Makes ugly face*
My Clothes.. Are still fabulous lol (Had to throw that in)
So lemme tell you the dealio on what's to come for Confessions of a Fashionista.. Ready for my news?????? I BOUGHT A DOMAIN NAME!!!! Yes, I am an official Dot.Com My new URL is www.Kishafashionista.com but it's NOT RUNNING YET! In addtion to a brand new space, I'm also doin a brand new lay out. I've been in email correspondance with a few Web designers that would like to help me get my vision off the ground. The first post on the brand new blog is going to be INSANE!! I cant wait to fully share my views on clothes, sex, boys, girls, shoes, purses, music etc in the fun, fabulous and edgy way that I've always envisioned. *pants* I wont give away too many secrets (that would spoil the surprise) but I will say it will be amaze-balls!
Stay tuned for my Blackberry Picture Confessions Love you all!
