A single girl's musings on being single

Well.. what can I say?
These last few months have been a whirlwind for me... A higher position at my job, more collateral duties with the Navy, moving into my own place, and changing my career path. WHEW!
In the midst of all the turmoil, months after my breakup, I've allowed myself to finally let go and "date".
The concept of "dating" is very new to me... When I look back on my life and the people that I've allowed in, I realize that I made many mistakes... The biggest mistake of all was not allowing myself time to be with me. I've always had someone I was either exclusively dating, or someone I was "talking to", or whatever it is you kids call it nowadays. There was always someone to text, or call when I wanted to chat with he opposite sex. Someone always willing to grab a quick lunch, dinner, or movie... Always, someone. I was never ALOOONE..
Now that I find myself alone, I'm treading in waters completely foreign to me, and I'll admit, I was not handling it very well.. But as I sat in my living room waiting for my alarm to go off, I gave myself time to really examine what it was that I was doing wrong.
*gasp*
wait.. wait.. yes, I will admit that maaaaaby, I have played a crucial role in a lot of my relationship outcomes. There were moments where I did not allow myself to be treated wonderfully. I was so bored with the thought of routine, that I would blind myself to what it feels like to really be courted. Two missed potentially golden opportunities later and here I am.
It's not all my fault though.
Well, I guess it is.
I wont be that girl that blames her parents (because mine were wonderful and loving). I had no early childhood traumas, and I come from a caring support system. No, my quirks are all my own.
I also came up with another conclusion. I expect a lot out of someone, but fail to put much effort in myself, especially if no clear titles have been given
All of these realizations came to me this very morning, and I made a vow that I would stop getting in the way of my own happiness. Easier said then done right? Right. But I figure the path to self discovery is like a 12 step program. The first step is admitting there may or may not be a problem
Kisha_Fashionista