Whats good for the Goose?

Well Fabs,

This particular blog is not about love or lust. It is simply a blog talking about equality. Have you ever been in the situation where someone does something to you, and you turn around and do the same thing to them and it's like the world has come to an end? That's my issue right. damn. now. We all have that friend or family member that has no problem being a selfish little prick to any and everybody. They'll ask for rides without offering any gas, they'll eat all your food, or watch you order food then pick off your plate. Or do things more serious like bail out on a birthday, or fail to show up at the airport when your flight gets in. The fact is, we have all be victim to not being treated equally. Society has always taught us to use the eye for an eye mentality. Think about it. Whenever that mooch of a friend or family member has something that you might want, lets say, a bag of oreos (only because I'm feeling particularly fat today) Why the hell wouldn't you extend your hand to ask for a cookie after everything that you've given to them. But what could potentially happen next is sure to shock you to the pit of your hungry stomach. They say no. Then guilt you about how they haven't eaten in days, they're sugar is low blah blah blah. To sum it up, the scale tips... you right off.

Lets say it's something a lot more serious than sandwich cookies. Lets say you had a "friend" (boy we use that term SO loosely) who was a championship fuck up. But you love them dearly and always wish for their success. In the process of them fucking up, they in turn screw you over. Picture this, it's your birthday and you've spent months and months planning an elaborate celebration. Your hair is done, your nails are shinning, your lip gloss is poppin, and your party clothes are beat to perfection. You walk into your venue and see the smiling faces of your loved ones. Well, allllll but one. You go the whole night partially coherent, but you're just sober enough to realize, they still haven't made it. And on top of that, hasn't even bothered to call. Lets fast forward a bit. After everything you've been through with this person, they're still acting up and now, it's THEIR birthday. and you decide.. you know what, forget it. I'm stayin my ass right in the house to catch up on Private Practice. You think, well they wont trip, they didn't come to my shit. Ohhhhh but the next day, you have 3 texts full of curse words and a voodoo doll hidden in your front bushes. WTF?!

The truth is, everybody can dish it, but not everybody is built to take it. Some people find it so easy to be triflin to the ones that love them the most, but are quick to snap off if the exact thing is done to them.

So what to do? I have no clue. As everybody knows, everything i write about has happened to me. Meaning, i'm definitely writing from experience. The best thing you can do, is learn that you cant treat everybody equally, but accordingly. What does that mean? it means that the friend that has stuck by you in your worst moments, should NEVER get the same treatment as the friend that has no issue with standing you up on your happiest day. In fact, the triflin friend should get fed with the longest of long handled spoons. From a distant. It's not always easy letting go of someone that we once loved, but sometimes, you have to love yourself more.

Title Loans

Hey fabs,

I know the title of this blog is "Title Loans" but I can assure you, this is not about money. No, No, this blog, is all about titles and labels. People find a lot of importance in label people, places, and things. For instance, that loud girl on the train with fiery red hair and 4 kids runnin up and down the aisle smacking people upside their heads may be labeled as "ghetto". On the opposite end of the spectrum, is the black girl who talks extremely proper, with straight A's and rarely gets in trouble. What would her label be? *coughs* oreo *coughs again*. (I can say that because for several years that's what I was called). But I digress. The man with his pants sagging is labeled a "Thug" and the mom who drives a mini van is labeled a homemaker. Our society thrives off of being able to put every single thing into a category. But for women, titles mean more than any Goodwill sale Macys has ever put on. Here's an example:

I dated (I should use that term more loosely, but for now, deal) for 7 years off and on. For awhile it was all fun and games, but as time went on, I kept wondering, why am I getting treated like a girlfriend, but my relationship status on Facebook still says Single as hell?! We eventually ended up going our separate ways for a final time. A few months back, we ran into each other and caught up. Of course at first came the polite, you look good, so do you, whats new conversations. But later after a few drinks (we were at a bar) I finally came out and told him about my issues with him. In a drunken tearful vent, I asked "Why was it never me? It was always so and so, but never me" to which he replied " If it helps, it was always you, just without the title". So there it was.

In another isolated incident, a friend of mine (knowing that I'm involved) asked why I had not yet changed my relationship status on Facebook. Apparently, "it's complicated" is too simplistic for people. *shrugs*. Do we as females only settle for the feelings and leave the title by the wayside? And is the title even that important? The answer is......... It depends on the person. For me, there was a moment in time where titles didn't matter. But as I got older and started to appreciate my own self worth, I realized that I deserved both the feelings and the label. But please do not take my "self worth" statement as saying that anybody with self worth would want a title. It just depends on what you value in your life, and a silly (or not so silly) title may not be that high on your priority list.

So how does one go about procuring both the feelings and the title? Well, that answer isn't so easy. You have to find someone that is willing to shout from the rooftops that they are in fact taken with you, and by you. And as many gal fabs know, that is a challenge in itself. But, we like challenges don't we ladies? #MESSAGE *sigh* :)